COMPLETE HOGWARTS HOUSE EVALUATION : 004. SLYTHERIN
G e n e r a l - P e r s o n a l i t y
First, it should be pointed out that, despite the unfair reputation they are often given, Slytherins are not, in any way, naturally evil. Evil comes in many forms and that includes in the forms of all the Hogwarts houses, not just one. Slytherins are just hungry in their ambition, self-confident, and driven. They do not let emotions or obligations get in their way, because once they set goals, they full intend to go for them, no matter what is in their path. So they don’t truly mean to hurt people when they do, they are just incredibly blunt and straightforward, a trait that can be seen as shocking to the more emotional houses. In short, Slytherins are strong and beautiful in this strength, as they hold their ground and refuse to be nothing in the world.
P o s i t i v e - & - N e g a t i v e - T r a i t s
The most positive pieces of a Slytherin are their determination and will. They are strong-minded, and you cannot take them down with your words. They can do bad all on their own, they do not need your approval or consent, therefore your opinion makes nothing to them. They take pride in their accomplishments, often making new goals along with their general long-term ideals, so they are always setting rewards for themselves and making sure they feel successful in life.
Slytherins can have a roaring self-confidence, which to some can be seen as a bad thing, but really helps them in life quite often. They are powerhouses and they are good at it, which means they are great at persuasion and sweet talking their way into something that they want. This is a great trait, because it means they do not have to resolve to brute force and argument, which they have no problem with initiating either. They can cause conflict and offend others easily, though this is often not intended, they are just blunt and rather apathetic to the views of others, and do not think of what they say in this manner.
Oddly, the positive traits of a Slytherin are also their downfall. This is because they have extreme highs and lows, caused by their own doing. Others cannot put them down, but they can quickly hurt themselves, thinking of everything they have ever done wrong and suddenly thinking themselves a failure, and to some degree panicking over it. Sometimes their barriers can come down and they aren’t sure how to react to things, like a scared child, and in these times they need a friend, not to be pushed away, though during these times they may also lash out.
C o m m o n - S t a r - S i g n s
An incredibly common sign for a Slytherin is Libra, as both are great in the art of smooth talking and weighing all their options to figure out what is the best for them. Both can often be very materialistic, though they can be equally kind when they want to be. A sign seen in the more social, and at times even more ambitious Slytherin may be Gemini.
H o b b i e s
Any hobbies a Slytherin takes up has to be one they consider useful, because if they feel they are wasting their time, they get angry with themselves very quickly. So often they take up hobbies more so as back-up plans than enjoyment, things that if need be could be a good career along the road. This could include things such as sports, usually rougher ones such as football or rugby, graphic or web design, and writing of novels.
F r i e n d s h i p s
Quite often, Slytherins can go in and out of friendships, not really retaining them, because friends aren’t always part of their plans. They tend toward a few close friends, and these friends they are incredibly loyal to, and some of the people they care about most in their life. Slytherins can come off as cold and uncaring, but never underestimate the love they have for their family and friends, it is strong and relentless. They are not the type to spread rumours about you, because if they were to do something like that, they would much rather do it to strangers, not people they would rather not hurt. If a Slytherin does hurt you and they realize it, they have a hard time saying they are sorry, because apologizing to them is a sign of weakness. When they try to talk to you as much as possible and seem much more polite, it is usually a sign they are sorry for whatever it is they have done.
I n t i m a t e - R e l a t i o n s h i p s
A relationship with a Slytherin is a bit like a forest fire, hard to control and even harder to extinguish. They can be incredibly passionate when they want to be, and like to heat things up and experiment, as their sex appeal means a lot to them, even when they aren’t comfortable discussing it. Just as they can do this however, if you upset them, their emotions can go off like the flipping of a switch, and they can detach from the relationship completely, acting like they never cared about you at all. A Slytherin scorned is not something you want, as romance is just a silly game to them, one that any moment can be destroyed if you say the wrong thing.
T y p o l o g y
The average typology for a Slytherin is INTJ (Introvert-Intuitive-Thinking-Judging). This varies for everyone, of course, but by nature Slytherins are goal-oriented, very good at keeping themselves away from the feelings of others, and strong in their mindset.
A b n o r m a l - P s y c h o l o g y
Note: This section of the analysis is not diagnosis, just a common observation. Do not take it as a diagnosis, nor ask me to diagnose you. If you believe you may have a disorder of some kind and are concerned about it, please seek a professional.
Slytherins can be narcissistic at times, and generally cold to the feelings of others, instead focusing on their own needs and ideals. They can put others down this way, though it is often not as intentional as you may think it is, it simply comes as a second instinct to them to be this way. They can also be perfectionists by nature, getting incredibly frustrated and hurt when things do not go the way they expected them too. They hid their emotions so well it is almost scary, but when it comes down to it they are the second most emotional house there is, and can therefore be prone to extreme highs or lows, and at times even depression. They can be very avoidant to situations which may engage their sympathies.
R e l i g i o u s - V i e w s
Slytherins are the most agnostic in their views of all the houses. This is because they believe whatever it is they believe, but they very rarely dwell on it, and they could care less what others believe either. They are more into the general idea of the human race and how they act as a whole, rather than sides of good or evil, that does not interest them in the slightest. As they see it everyone is down a specific path, and they are along to have fun in the duration of the ride.
P o l i t i c a l - V i e w s
Some Slytherins have no interest in politics whatsoever, but those that do love debate, and are very venomous in their nature when it gets down to it. They are prone to arguing, though they will listen to what you have to say, you will rarely change their mind. Instead, you will probably often find them to be very convincing, and you may be reevaluating your own thoughts by the time they are through with you.
C a r e e r s
Common career and occupational choices among Slytherins are those that are very prestigious or those that are looked well upon, because they expect only the best for themselves. They may want to be surgeons, doctors, attorneys, or journalists. The more artistic of Slytherins may also enjoy acting, singing, or dancing.
I d e a l - E n v i r o n m e n t
The ideal environment for a Slytherin is the one in which they feel they are at the top of their game, and in which they are saying what goes on around them. They have a deep need to be independent as well as superior, so they like to climb their way to the top of the food chain. Literally speaking, Slytherins may tend toward warmer, more humid areas.
S e l f - P e r c e p t i o n
Slytherins have two perceptions about themselves, depending on their mood. The first is that they are a fantastic, accomplished person, ready to take charge and be the best they can be. The second opinion, when they start to put themselves down or are in a low place, is that they are rude individuals who are lonely at heart.
L i f e - M i s s i o n
The mission of a Slytherin is to do what it is they do best, make their name known, and show pride in where it is they come from.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?
I mean, can we just talk about how this parallels the actual education system? Where they’re so concerned about teaching us things like logarithms and graphing that we don’t know shit about what’s actually out there in the adult world, like doing taxes or writing checks or anything? I mean, “It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about.” School children are often under the impression that getting A’s in all their classes ensures a successful future, but really, it’s so ignorant because the real world isn’t just one big question-and-answer paper. There is so much more to the world than being able to give back information like some kind of super-computer, and brainwashing children into thinking that theory is key is just going to lead to a bunch of children falling flat on their faces when they’re pushed into the adult world and feel as if everything new they try to do is wrong because it wasn’t taught to them step-by-step. I just really love Harry’s line, “And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what’s out there?” because I feel as if sometimes we just learn things for the sake of knowing them, despite whether it is actually useful. Yes, school is important, and getting bad grades isn’t a good way to start your future, but it’s so much more than that, you see.
this sounds a lot like something Hermione would say
I think that’s the reason why everyone has such strong negative feelings toward Umbridge (as a person, not a character). I can’t tell you how many times I heard people say that they wanted Umbridge to die more than Voldemort. And I must say that I feel the same.
Voldemort is a racist dictator. While these have existed, and still do, the majority of us don’t live under such a tyrant. We’ve heard about them in history books and on the news- but they’re already dead or on the other side of the world. While we can be horrified at the terror such a person can spread and how, well, evil they can be, a character of this archetype doesn’t strike a personal chord with most of us.
But Umbridge does. As stated before, she represents everything that we hate about the public school system. Most of us know or have a teacher, professor, principal, or school administrator who, to probably a lesser degree, personifies what Umbridge is saying. They teach only to the test, or tell teachers to do so, they insist on including useless things in their curriculums, they PASS LAWS SO THAT SUCH A SCHOOL SYSTEM CAN CONTINUE. This is something that affects nearly every public school in the US, (and I’m guessing the UK as well). Nearly every student has to go through school learning things that they will never use in real life and that in no way prepare them for the real world, just so the various boards of education can use the higher test scores as ‘proof’ that we’re ‘smarter’ than other states, countries, etc., and therefore deserve more funding.
We hate Umbridge so much (again, as a person, not a character) because she represents a villain we all have in our own lives. Possibly every single person who has read this book can connect with the frustration Harry and the other students feel.
We hate Umbridge so much because everything she is, everything she represents, is very real and very personal to every single one of us.
Dog: I AM SORRY BABY HUMAN! DO NOT CRY ANYMORE! i SHALL BRING YOU MORE TOYS
The cutest thing ever.
I will never let myself scroll past a picture of Walt and not reblog it. I feel like I’d be dishonoring him, and he’s just done so much for me that it’s just not right.
Bless this man for enriching my childhood.
People who don’t reblog this
DISHONOR ON YOUR WHOLE FAMILY
DISHONOR ON YOU
DISHONOR ON YOUR COW
THE FACT THAT ITS IN FUCKING COLOR AS WLL OH MY GOD MY HEART
Reid Wiseman is a national treasure.